Wow....uh...just wow.

1971 Caddy Elderado - $5000 (Roy)
Date: 2009-07-28, 10:14PM
I have a 1971 Cadillac Elderado with 92000 original miles. This car is clean. Clean WA title. interior is in good shape. Leather has some small cracks but no tears. Headlner is in great shape. All feature work on this car. Power windows Power locks power seats AC cruise control Auto lights. It Even has the original stereo with 8 Track player. Only one small rust spot on entire car. From what I have been told and researched the 1971 Caddy was the first year of the front whell drive cars. It has the big 500ci engine with a smooth shifting auto tranny. Still have original owners manual. All chrome is complete and no blemishes. I was going to finish but wife says I need a new hobbie. I have a nice set of 20 inch chrome wheels to add with the sale. Car is awsome needs paint. Body work and primer will be done by end of week. I am asking 5000.00 obo. You will not find another car like this in this shape for less. 4500.00 oboi with out rims. My name is JD and my number is 360-458-0014. This car will be a great addition to any family. Tha car also has all four original hub caps and wheels and new carpet. More pictures upon request

Wow. First off, who actually advertises their Cadillac as a Caddy? I guess maybe he's gong for the homie crowd, I dunno. He's been told and researched....HE'S BEEN RESEARCHED? By who, the governement?
What is with people and the word whell? It's a wheel folks! A well is where you get water, a WHEEL is that round thing that rolls like a donut, Homer Simpson.
If the wife says he needs a new hobbie, maybe the wife needs spell check as well.
I won't even go into "awsome."
But I like the price, and apparently the owner does too. He even says "oboi" at the end! I guess he's related to Big Boi.

Sbarro Pizza

94 subaro - $500 (Graham)
Date: 2009-07-28, 5:30PM
94 subaro legacy GT 4wd..... need a trany keeps poping out of gear
Location: Graham
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Subaro? Isn't that a pizza place? Again, another case of "I know the brand name is displayed on the car somewhere!!" The trany keeps poping in and out of gear. Must be a holy trany (whatever a trany is) if the pope is involved!

Hispanic is Not a Language

DESK MANAGER (SEATTLE METRO)
Date: 2009-07-27, 8:17PM PDT

AUTO SALES Washington States largest automobile dealership is interviewing for an experienced desk manger...however, will train the right person. Position available requires multi-talented, self starting warrior. Bi-lingual, in the Hispanic language persuasion is a plus. Resumes are only being accepted for the time being. Phone interviews will soon follow, then the private interview. Position includes many perks along with a solid schedule. Resume by word 2003 e-mail only. Please note, we are not GM nor are we Chrysler!

WTF? Since when is Hispanic a language? "We are not GM nor are we Chrysler!"
So...you're Ford? Who are you?
"Resume by Word 2003 e-mail only."
Is that a pen name? Word 2003? Like Andre 3000?

Who hires these idiots? Doesn't anybody proofread the ads before they go out? Man, to think that the owner of this place is probably making millions makes me sick.

Please Use Telegraph Service for My Ad (End)

1991 ford exploerr 4×4 5sp cheap - $999 (auburn)

Date: 2009-07-15, 11:26AM PDT

nice end cheap 4×4 runs end drives ok cal jon

Ebonics to the rescue!!!
“What kinda car you got there MC Dogg?”
“Yo homie, it’s a Exploerr!”
I think this guy was using a telegraph machine to edit his posting (END) It appears that periods have been replaced by old telegraph prompts (END) I didn’t even know that telegraph machines were still in use (END)
Oh wait that’s STOP not END (STOP)
Maybe he’s only selling the nice end. I’m not really sure. In any case, he’s looking for a CalJon which I think is some trendy new urinal. You know, like the California Pizza Kitchen or California Closet. This is the CalJon. I’m not 100% sure what it is, but if it’s from California, it’s gotta be cool!
Drives OK. Not great, not well, just OK. OK then.

Sentence Runs; Car Does Not

toyota camery must go ASAP - $500

Date: 2009-07-12, 9:56PM PDT

1988 toyota camery i will tell you before you read it does not run. small problem i believe a little history of the car… i bought it for $1400 a year and a half ago and one month after i got it my ex ran it out of oil so i believe a rod was thrown… it sat for a year and this january i bought a motor to put in it for $400 with 120000k on it its great no knocking or anything the motor is perfect just something in there small is wrong. finally got someone to put it in for $500, he got it in then couldnt figure out why it wouldnt start, it is something small a wire not connected properly or throttle cable i don’t know just been taking opinions form other people. so total i have put about $2500 into myself. the car is very clean no dents great intieor everything electric everything works, it ran great just had a small oil leak which eventually lead me to this. I lvoe the car and have put everthing i have into fixing it i just can’t do it anymore i dont know anyone with enough intelligence nor have the funds. if you can tow it and fix it its yours. i just want someone to take my baby and give her a good rest of her life because i have failed to do so and really need the extra cash.




Ok. Where should i begin for this one i hate people who post ads that are just run on sentences i wish you goddamn kids would stop text messaging and listen to your english teachers they might be able to teach you something.
(Sigh). Now that I’ve gotten that out, let’s check out this guys’s sweet ride. The “new” motor has 120,000K on it….that’s 120,000,000 miles! Holy shit! Now THAT is Toyota dependability!
Oh yeah, almost forgot: It’s a Camry!!! Not a Camery!! It’s written on the car!! I swear to you it is! Check the trunk lid! It most likely says Toyota on one side and Camry on the other!

…no knocking or anything the motor is perfect just something in there small is wrong.
< I’m not sure exactly wtf this is supposed to mean. First of all, the motor is obviously NOT perfect because it doesn’t run! Small problem there. “Just something in there small is wrong…” I really hope this guy is dyslexic.

I lvoe the car and have put everthing i have into fixing it i just can’t do it anymore i dont know anyone with enough intelligence

This is really not surprising. Really it's not.

In Need of An Editor

I recently went up the hill to see what all the new hooplah was about with this new burger joint. On the way, while sitting in traffic, I spied this sign.

I can understand someone misspelling the sign once. But…nobody caught this boo-boo at the sign shop? Somebody spent money on this sign without reviewing it? Didn’t the guy who actually made the sign say anything to anybody? Why “Stoves and Spa’s?” Why not “Stove’s and Spa’s?” Or maybe “Stove’s and Spas?”

Who signed off on this sign anyway?

The funniest part about this sign whole situation is that this sign is one of many in a local chain. That’s right, one of many X Brand Spa shops in the area.

Nobody at corporate noticed this?

I bet McDonald’s would notice if your franchise were spelled Mac Donald’s.

This beauty has been up for over a decade and I have to wonder how many people stop at this shop just to let them know that the sign is incorrect? Out of those people, how many people leave with a new spa or wood burning stove? Maybe the apostrophe was intentional just to bring people in.

Genius marketing, I say!!

Things Are Rouph All Around

Rouphly 3 + Yards Of Clean 5/8 Gravel

I’m assuming that this poster is a fan of the band Phish. I don’t know that I’ve seen this version of “rough” before. Maybe it goes along with touph and stuph.

“How’s that old Buick running Earl?”
“Runnin’ kinda rouph Darryl.”

“What’s the doggie say, honey?”
“Rouph! Rouph!”